I’m sitting alone in the dark, the aftermath of a day of violent thunderstorms passing over Lake Huron in April. The power has been out for five hours now and the storms continue to surge across in waves. It was okay in the daylight, when I could pick up a book and sit in the overcast light of the window, but the light, even in the daytime is no good for drawing or painting, something I love to do when I come up here to my retreat. The computer power is at a premium, just a few minutes left of the battery, before even this shuts down. Then what? I can’t see to write in pencil and I’m not tired enough to go to bed and sleep yet.
There is only one thing left to do, when this internal laptop battery is finished……. Meditation.
Isn’t this crazy? I will be forced into meditation; I feel something pleasurable in the thought that I have to step out of the routine, out of the distraction, this is it. I won’t be able to produce anything, not even writing or reading or drawing.
The battery went off and I spent the night in quiet meditation and sleep. Thunderstorms continued to roll overhead and woke me up several times, then at three a.m. the light in my bedroom burst on as the power was restored. I had formulated some questions and observations in my mind during meditation and every time I awoke I tried to reestablish my meditative thought.
Several years ago during an intense period of spiritual training, my teacher suggested meditation for two hours every day at the same time, without fail, for forty days. It was the beginning of many changes in my awareness, one of which was the ability to observe the Personal Mind or Separate self.
“In other words you have transcended Personal Mind the 4th and become the active witness of your own mind in action. You are no longer the passive recipient of information but have become actively engaged in co-creating what you are thinking about. And you are fully aware that this is what you are doing.” – Spiritual Realism Awareness States
I observed that restlessly looking for something to do is a habit. I was thinking about how most of our day is spent in habitual thinking. The mind finds a certain way or pattern that seems to be effective and goes on automatic pilot, distracted for the most part of the day with things it has deemed as important to do. It’s good not to have to think much about the mundane routines of life; however it is a problem when we move through our whole day as routine. It’s a problem because we are not in the creative space of awareness that allows us to move with uncontrived naturalness; to act in unconditioned truth; to be free of conditioning and fear; to be in a space of Self Awareness.
It’s interesting to see how the separate self (lower mind in theoso’ talk) feels secure and satisfied with a routine and predictable day. It doesn’t like changes, unexpected and unplanned occurrences. This Self that calls itself Star has built up an idea of how it should be in the world. This has occurred through a series of events that happen to everyone; birth, family conditioning, environment and Karma. That Self, sustains the strength of itself by keeping the mind in the mundane routine predictable patterns of thought, actions and reactions throughout the day. We believe this to be our real selves and we energize this Lower/Separate self, by maintaining our attention in that Self. Attention/directed awareness is energy.
We have the power to choose what we give our attention to. Release the mind from its mundane routine and it reacts with energy. Awareness is energy.
It is my experience that the soul reacts with joy when this occurs. It’s a yearning fulfilled; a yearning for something in our lives with purpose, something that is real, and something exciting about to happen. Seeing the ego/lower mind/separate self and acting with intent is what is meant by applied theosophy. It can’t be learned by reading and intellectualizing about it. It is realized by doing; by being; by becoming aware. And this, my friends is the start of a spiritual journey and a new way of being in the world.
Warmest regards to you from Sharon